These were the hurtful words that were said to me when I confided in someone I thought was a friend.  I find it really hard dating, and was beginning to wonder if I could actually be in a relationship. And he was absolutely adamant that whilst I was who I was, it simply wasn’t possible.

I was explaining that recently I have had an entity step forward who has been protecting me for a long time. He has been randomly appearing when I have needed him and then going again and I haven’t been able to put a handle on him until now.

He walked through a full length mirror and simply stood behind me whilst I was doing a private reading in London and then disappeared again until last week when he surfaced in all his glory. He is very old and we loved each other before, we were married; I can feel the love emanating from him and it is pure.

Let’s call him Alex.

As soon as I saw Alex in Mexico my heart chakra blossomed like never before and I knew how important he was to me. I knew he was here for this part of my journey and he will forever be a part of me. Following on from a conversation with him I relived my death when I was taken from him, which only cemented the strength of our bond.

Now… I can’t touch Alex and he can’t touch me. He will be around when I ask him to but we understand each other and he won’t overstep the mark. However the person I was talking to AKA Bill was stating that because I would call upon Alex for spiritual protection and am emotionally tied to him, that I would be cheating. I could never be faithful to one man.

What the fuck was I supposed to do with that!?

As well as Alex, I have two other deities that I have a very close relationship with and I can honestly say that I love them. Not in the way that is distant and obligatory, I mean I feel so much love and warmth and thanks towards them. They are my husbands. They are the bastards that mock my outfit but slay baddies for me. They have changed who I am and accept me as the flawed individual I am. They are my loves.

When Bill made this assertion, I was thrown, for about 10 seconds and then for the rest of the silent conversation I simply held my tongue.

Just because he can’t deal with my life, doesn’t mean another man can’t.

You see Bill was put through the ringer in his last relationship, she was not a great person and she cheated a lot. So in Bill’s mind, the fact that I am relying on any man other than him for anything, meant I was being emotionally unfaithful. I get it. I get his pain and insecurities have led to this opinion, but you know what,  another man could view it differently.

I am an amazing girlfriend (honestly if Antonio Banderas is reading this, I am immense 😉 ) and a self assured man who understand that sometimes I need another’s help, is all I  need. It doesn’t mean I love him any less. It doesn’t make him any less of a man. In fact it makes him more of one because he can accept all of me and those that come with me.

Those who are involved with certain systems such as Vodou or Santeria would have the same relationships with their Luas/Orishas as I have with mine. I have enough love to go around.

So the point of my rantings was to show that just because some bloke has an opinion on you, it doesn’t mean they’re right. Just means you aren’t for them.

They want less than you.

Do not make yourself smaller. Do not make yourself less successful. Do not make yourself quieter. Be who you are and those that deserve you, those who will revel in you, will arrive. And they will be worth the wait.

I don’t care if you have 12 kids, there is a guy/girl out there with a 12 seater mini bus, just waiting for that call.

Do not give up hope.