My week in Vancouver got off to a traumatic start; a very human trauma.
It took a good 48 hours for what had happened to sink in emotionally and psychologically, when it did I was in a very dark place. I had become a victim for the first time since childhood and I found it debilitating.
I was having a hard time wrapping my head around it.
Thankfully Jenn I was staying with woke me up on Wednesday morning with the news that we were driving into the mountains to get out of the city for a while. I needed to breathe, to get away from the diabolical energy in Vancouver.
I jumped in the shower and a First Nations guy showed himself clairvoyantly to explain that he was here to work with Jenn and we would meet him on our travels today. When I asked him where, he said he would find us.
Thank the Gods; I was so tired I could barely see let alone read a map.
We drove for an hour along the mountain roads in silence, taking in the scenery and needing the time to process everything that had happened. We rounded a bend and Jenn saw a sign for Shannon Falls not too far ahead, followed her intuition and decided to pull off.
We dragged our butts out of the car and headed across the picnic area where I could see Jenn’s guy waiting. I left her on a bench to talk to him and made my way up to the waterfall.
Nature is my happy place in the world. Forget shopping, forget bars, forget people, I need trees and open space to come back to myself. As soon as I was out of the car I was greeted by the spirit of the mountain we were about to walk up and I could feel the energy coming from the trees.
Once I was by myself the tears began to stream down my face as I could risk letting my mask slip. The trees surrounded me in warmth and kinship with no expectations of anything in return. Sometimes they are all I have since Thor passed to Valhalla.
As I reached the base of the falls I headed off the trail and on to the rocks to get that little bit closer to the water hoping it would help cleanse me if I asked.
I touched the water and connected to the majestic falls – she felt very powerful and very feminine – the Queen of the mountain. Sacred.
I thanked her for being here, explained I had nothing to offer her other than my love and gratitude but I understood if this was not enough.
She said she saw what had been taken and what had been left, her and I were not too different. I explained I was having trouble reclaiming who I was and could not more past the powerlessness.
Then from nowhere women of all ages appeared on the rocks. They all just stood there smiling at me, radiating love and strength. I have never seen anything like this in my life. I was surrounded.
The same thing had happened to every single one of them.
“Do you view us as victims? Powerless?”
No I did not. These women were proud, tough and had a courage that was palpable.
“You are no different. Just remember.”
A knot released from my heart and I took a full breath for the first time in days.
These women and the waterfall had done more for me in 5 minutes than any therapist could. Feeling their energy radiating off me was washing away the shadows and self doubt.
I am forever in their debt.